Human diversity

Digging into the possibilities of the 'gay scene' I have found some different and much more 'specialized' groups of people who meet or individuals who share similar interests even when they go along their path each one by themselves.

The group is a group of transvestites and admirers who meet regularly to realize fantasies and just do what they find most exciting. in this group members interact as a group and as individuals, so they exchange pictures and contact details for private encounters.

This is nothing particularly special, since every interest lead people to assemble and share ideas to give that interest some growth. What makes this kind of group special is that they make patent a sexual orientation and a lifestyle, which do not have to go together.

Creating tags and create a stereotype under those tags is quite social, maybe human. We have learnt to judge quickly depending on race, appearance and many other possibilities, although it is possible to not learn or unlearn that, most of the people do not care about learning not to judge and depend on stereotypes. As a straight man said after the explanation of the differences between gay, transvestite and transsexual, "(straight people/men) do not care about that, they are all homos".

This is the issue for every man experimenting with his sexuality and and the sex with other males. After we had some light play, a straight guy (with girlfriend) said to me: "So, you think now I am gay". Of course, I do not think he is gay. At least not now. He is happy now having a relationship with a female, that makes him straight whether he likes or not having sex with males.

Same thing would apply to males who like to be penetrated anally with a dildo or a strap-on. It is quite possible to be a straight male and liking having his ass worked whether it is by a male or a female, as long as his lifetime partner or main interest goes towards women. Proof of this is the number of women who declare experimenting with other women at a point in their lives and have happy straight relationships.

I do not find appropriate anymore to classify lifestyle and sexual behaviour in the same space. Lifestyle is much more obvious because of the partners you have in social events or just in life: you like having boyfriends, girlfriends, both (e.g. straight, bisexual, gay). Sexual behaviour is much more private, particularly for those whose sexual behaviour do not match their lifestyle stereotype, for instance, and going back to the first examples, straight men who like sex with others than women.

This may give much more combinations as expected, as it could be considered gender (male, female, m2f, f2m), relationship status, 'transvestite status' (as some women like dressing as men, just as some men like dressing as women, but it is socially appropriate for women), just to mention the most usual.

In this way it is possible to be a married straight transvestite man who likes sex with bisexual women. Or a more usual one, a married straight man who likes pre-op m2f. This leaving aside roles that may make it more complicated.

It is important to be aware of all this diversity whether or not (hopefully not) we want to grant tags to every situation to learn to dismiss stereotypes. Before that, every one of us will be just like that man who thinks that everyone who is not straight is a 'homo'.

Beat etiquette

Yes, even the lowest places in the gay sex life have an etiquette, which is not so different from the one for the rest of the 'scene'.

1. If I'm too hot for you, not even in your dreams: The attitude is not an accessory, it's part of the personality. You can be rejected just as easily as on gaydar or in a bar.

2. Free will: You can stand on the same spot at the urinal for hours waiting for your charming Dick, stalk other cruiser freely or ran away at any time.

3. Repeating does not mean commitment: Running into the same person more than once does not mean anything. Enjoy as long as it lasts and cherish the memory.

4. Condoms are not part of the etiquette, but part of any healthy sex life.

5. Beats usually are public areas; behave accordingly to keep the beat safe for other cruisers, e.g. do not stay for hours in there, keep your 'voice' low, respect straight ones.

Enjoy!

'Gayness and Breasts' and Reply

I have been busy with life..... and sex, of course. But nothing particular enough to post here. But I will reconsider that.

Anyway, I found this quite interesting post on a confessions site:

"Gayness and Breasts
Listed: 03/06/2009

I'm a straight male, and have a number of gay friends. 95% of my gay mates claim to love female breasts. They love to look at them, slap them, bounce them, motor boat them, draw on them, actually draw them etc, but still claim to be 100% gay.

Now surely the reason they love breasts is because us men are hard wired to just love breasts. That's fair enough, and I know breasts are not considered as sexual organs, but it is undeniably a sensual organ unique to women (and a few fat blokes). I can almost guarantee that gay guys don't enjoy fondling overweight man humps anywhere near as much as a womans volutuous mammaries. Now on the other hand let's say I loved to play, stroke and fondle an organ specific to a man which was also considered sensual (random example being a knob or nipple etc), would I not be considered gay. Why does it still make sense when gay guys can say "I love breasts but I'm 100% gay" and it doesn't make sense for me to say "I love playing with mens groins but I'm 100% straight"? Surely that would make me bi right?

Some women don't mind it at all when gay guys touch their breasts. Being gay is like a license to grope. "It's ok, he's gay" is said so often that people don't even question it anymore.
I was in a gay club with friends (who happen to be female) and they were seriously getting groped and bloody loving it! They didn't even question if the guys were gay. The assumption that they were gay was enough. With that logic, I could walk into a gay bar, find a woman, have a fondle and get away with it. Hell I could probably ask her: "Can we shag? It's cool love I'm gay as'. She may even see it as a challenge... "just imagine if I could convert him? That'll be a great story for the girls...".

Sometimes I wish I were homosexual.

Ps. I know it's a long shot but while we're on the topic I would be happy to receive pictures of breasts. I can view them with my gay mates over beers. I would not know what to make of that occasion but regardless, they would surely love it. "


As I find it interesting I decided to reply:

"Interesting topic.

I think a guy's sexuality is socially less flexible than a girl's. For instance, girls are allowed to have lesbian experiences and that's not a problem to keep being straight. If you, straight guy, have a gay experience, it's a stain on your sexual CV. It's just macho thinking!'


I wonder if women have realized of all the empowerment achieved with their sexuality....

Friends, friends..... friends?

Making friends in Sydney is not easy. I wanted to look for a straight friend and diversify my circle. I found an ad titled "32 male looking for friend" which read: "I am 32 year single professional male and newly migrated in Australia. any one wanna friendship email me asap " and I sent a welcoming message

After a few messages it was clear that the guy wasn't interested at all in befriending a gay guy. Instead of that, he gave my email address to another gay guy, Atiq. At first Atiq was nice, but after a while the usual stupid sex questions appeared, and I knew it was just more of the same.

He was quite interested in meeting and invited me for dinner in his place with more to happen after dinner, of course. I accepted and asked for his physics. All what he answered was that I' d knew about that only at his place... I know, very bad sign.

The day before our dinner, Atiq asked me if it was fine for me to have someone more for dinner and afterwards. Lust was stronger and I agreed, especially after chatting with Stu. He was less fuzzy than Atiq about all what was involved and we decided to meet before dinner.

Things with Stu went quite well. We liked each other as we expected when we exchanged photos. When we arrived to Atiq's everything went fine. We had a nice conversation, dinner was delicious and there was no hint about sex so far.

Once we finished dinner I went to the bathroom. When I came back to the living room Atiq was sucking Stu as expected (although I wasn't expecting it at that point). I wasn't able to get hard as Stu sucked me dry at his place and I had some more sex even earlier that day. After a while we went to bed where Stu was sucked and drenched in Atiq's saliva. I know, saliva is an expected fluid during sex.... but not that much. I find it uncomfortable as I guess Stu did. After 30 or 40 minutes Stu came and we left.

Later that night I felt reprehended online by Atiq. He argued that I was notoriously uncomfortable during dinner and during sex and he insisted even when I told him I was not. Anyway, I'm not visiting him anymore if it involves sex. The reason is simple: I ended up in touch with him expecting a friendship, not another fuck. I know friendship and sex may play along, but for me this is not the case.

Very older men.

I've always had a thing for older guys, but not too old. But what's too old? That's always relative, as it would be relative what's too young if there wasn't the 18 years old rule.

Well, I met online this 59 years old guy. He had a picture of a very handsome guy, he said it was him some years ago (6-7 years ago), but he still was in good shape. married with children and the sife on a trip.

I agreed to meet him but I knew it was a mistake since I opened the door. He lloked like the guy in the picture but in a decaying condition. The rest was just the expected for a 59-60 years old. Nothing more, nothing less, except for one detail...

When he took his underware off I could glance a big thin stain on the back of the cloth. Disgusting! Specially when he sat and left a very personal mark....

Never again for very older men.

Resuming

Wow! Very busy year was 2008!

After a few months without posting finally I have some time to organize and update all this. As there are many stories to tell, I will take it easy and update what happened with all the previous guys.

Although dissapearing is a common thing before, during and after all those stories, you get used to it and learn not to take dating or cruising any seriously. Even if you find someone specially nicer, your mind starts to discard him gently, so you will not be too disappointed if he finally disappears, and will be very glad if he shows up again.

Resuming the previous, I can say this happened with:

Young cute blond guy: Saw him a few times in the chatroom we hooked up. Never again in person, or txt or calls.

Lunch guy in Surry Hills: A few texts after that always promising a new meeting. Never happened, not even by chance. He is still a frequent visitor in the chatroom.

Thom: God! It almost was a never ending story, but it had to dig into my dignity to stop. After that night when he made up a story to kick out of his (allegedly, sister's) flat, he called to meet in Oxford St., dance and go to a hotel where he had a room. As previously happened, we met, danced, and went to the hotel, but this time when thing were going just like usual I decided to do things differently, which he couldn't handle. Then he asked me to leave (at 3-4 am) which I happily did with the promise to myself of never seeing him again (again). He called several times after that, until he got me to accept to meet him again. But when I told him there wouldn't be sex, he realized things weren't the same, and called me later to cancel and tell me to call him whenever I forgive him. After some months, I think I've forgiven him but I won't forget.

Chris 1: Totally disappeared with my 120 dollars. :(

Mark: He was scary! Thankfully he's totally disappeared too.

Chris 2: Totally disappeared too. I called to his number weeks after our date and a woman picked up the phone. I wonder what happened with him. Not that I expect anything!

Chris 3: I had a little chat with him recently (more than 6 months after our meeting) but he never knew who I was. He's just doing the same as before, with some health issues. Hope he gets better, he's a nice guy after all.


Soon new stories,

Me

Chris 3

I started chatting with Chris... (Damn! Another one. Too many in Sydney. Let's call him Chris 3) about 4 months ago. It was quite friendly and even we sms each other when I was travelling, but it stopped and we restarted chatting after a few weeks.

One night he said he had the next day off from work and he wanted to do some exercise. As I was working out then, I told him to join me the next day and he accepted, surprise!

The next day we met and went to the closest park. He joined me for some minutes of jogging, but he had to stop and waited till I finished. As he waited I tried to make some company for him, we had some conversation and he even told a couple of jokes.

We went back to my place (A crappy one back then) and he decided to take a shower. He stripped his t-shirt off and went into the bathroom. I liked him physically (as much as one can like who you just meet), he seemed to be a cool guy, he was showering and would be back into my room soon... shirtless! I had to make a move, I thought.

Hence he came back into my room shirtless, I said anything, played for a second with his nipple piercing, leaned and kissed him. Big mistake! He stood there motioless and emotionless. I regretted what I just did and begged for excuses. He just said "I didn't expected it". He dressed, we said goodbye and he left.

I sent him a message excusing my behaviour once again. He replied saying it was fine, but I never got a reply again from him until last week, when I saw he was online and asked him in a message what would his reaction be if I wouldn't have kissed him, but tried to fuck him. His reply was very short and straightforward: "It would be very very much worse... for you".

Another one of my nice gay aussie experiences in Sydney!

Back on track

Many weeks have passed as well as many men.

One of the latest deceptions was Chris (Another? I guess so, a different one for sure). We started sending messages on a gay dating (cruising) website several months ago, but we never set a date. A few weeks ago he reappeared and proposed to meet for dinner.

The proposal was good. We met and went to a thai restaurant he knows, had dinner, he bought wine and went to his place for a movie. His flatmate was travelling, but now I wonder... is he really his flatmate?. Anyway, we sat cuddling in his living room to watch the movie.... well, I watched the movie, he slept. Once finished the movie, we went to his bed where we slept naked together. No sex so far.

Next morning we couldn't resist and had sex. As usual I wore a condom which I realized it broke after we both came. No dramas. And he dropped me close to Uni on his way to work. "I'll call you later tonight". It was a very nice date.

After a few days I send him an sms with no answer. Some days later I send him a different message on the dating website. I found out yesterday that he deleted his profile there.

What happened? Cumming in him scared him off that badly? Is his flatmate his boyfriend? Did he feel close to commitment after cuddling? or after offering me a job (During the dinner, an actual job)?

It was nice to meet him, even when I wasn't too excited. But as usual, I'd like to know the reason.

Definitely extremists

One of those (many) lazy days, I met Mark on the chatroom. Well..... he found me. I saw his picture but I thought he was too cute and he wouldn't pay attention to me.

BUT he opened a window for private conversation with me!!! Lucky you, I thought (yeah, right...). We chatted and agreed to meet on a busy corner in the city. That first day we couldn't meet, but a few days later we could. Just for a few minutes. He was on his way to work and had only time for a quick conversation.

I didn't like him that much after that first meeting because of his personality. Anyway he seemed to be a nice cute guy. About 10 minutes later, I received his first sms. After an hour I received about 30!!! Even he asked me to think on moving close to him so it'd be easier to meet, and take our relation to the next level....

And I thought I was quick!

I've been avoiding him for weeks, but finally he asked me if there was somebody else. It was the best chance to disappoint him! Yes, there's somebody else, I replied.... I never thought it was possible to make a scene by sms, but he did!

The most amazing thing is he is still after me, even knowing of the 'boyfriend''s existence, looking for a no-strings-fun relation.... but at the same time he says he misses me (?!).

The only thing I really hope is nobody thinks I am nearly close to him... 'coz I'm not!

Not worse... just different... too different...

Chris saw my profile and sent me a message saying that he would love to have sex with me. Loud and clear. Flattering, isn't it? He's not bad looking, so I sent a message saying that I would like to meet him sometime. Who wouldn't do that?



Nothing strange so far.



BUT, Chris replied quickly. We exchanged MSN IDs. He can travel to Sydney from Bateman's Bay if I lend him 60 bucks for gas. Or we could wait till he have money. Too pushy, too insistant... I knew he could never show up again, but I decided to bet in his favour and make the deposit. After all he send sms's like "Please forgive me. I will pay you back. I feel so bad now." I still have it, lol, like a reminder.



He showed up. Under the rain he arrived to my place and he acted charming and loving. The hours we were together were hot and charming. He made a lot of compliments, smiles and plans. Too many for such a short time. Late that night he said he had to leave and go to his friend's before she went to bed. OK. He left naming plans to do something the next day and under the rain with my umbrella.



The next day I only received this message: "Someone crashed into my car and now I am at the police station sorting out the problem. I will have to call you later sorry". I am still waiting for that call.



I've called him a couple of times since then tho. But he never says anything. He knows who's calling. He blocked my MSN 'coz he's never been online since then. He erased his profile in this website. And of course, that money is lost.



Even another guy from the same website turned out to know Chris. I told him to tell Chris to contact me, which he did. Now Chris is avoiding this other guy also.........



Go figure.







Me

About the truth

I met Thom 5 months ago and he'd turned me into his bitch and I was aware, but the last time it was ridiculous.





The first time we met he was pretty charming, we went to his favorite beach, had lunch there, then other beach and walk around. At the end of the afternoon, he took me home and there we made out. He told me he wasn't looking for a full-time relationship, which was good enough 'coz we were busy enough. Later he said that we should go to the Blue Mountains, or even weeks later he said that we should we should go to Queensland. Isn't it easier to be clear and say "I'm looking for a fuckbuddy" and keep it simple?





After that we've met 4 or 5 times, always in my place, or better in my bed. To summarize it's been a "blow'n go" everytime when I wish I'd been blown once or he have a good asset to blow, but it isn't like that.





A change was a good thing to expect, but........ Fool of me, the change arrived. One day he told me to meet him in the city (meet him in a public place?), go somewhere for a drink (a drink together??) and go to his place afterwards (HIS PLACE???). Ok, I accepted. We met really late, about 11pm, looked for a place to drink something, but he drank nothing. He looked just anxious to go to his place to... rest?





So, right after my beer, we took a taxi to go to his place, he looked for his flatmate and when he made sure he was sleeping (!) he took me into the apartment. We went into his bedroom and he started to undress. I followed. Turned the light off and the routine started again. After 5 minutes (maybe 10, ha) he came. Then I put myself together and prepared to sleep.... it was about 1 am, was quite far from my place and thought I could stay.





Suddenly, a phone rang. He spoke: Hi...... where are you?..... I'm at home....... OK, I understand..... OK, I understand........ OK..... He said he had to go to his office because he had to give access to an account from his office to other global office in Asia and he should stay till 4 am there.....





Ok, so I should go with him..... And I stood up to get dressed.





What's wrong? he asked. I'm getting dressed, I answered. No, you can stay and wait for me.





Ok, so I went back into bed.





But.., he said, I should tell my flatmate. he could freak out. You shouldn't wake him up for that. I won't leave the room, I said. But..... blah blah blah





So, the most convenient thing for me was to leave. Ok, I'll go with you. OK!, he said, you can go with me to the office.





Ok, let's go.





But..., he said, I'm not sure if the guard will let you go in. Ok, I'll go with you and I'll go to my place from your building. Your office isn't too far from my place.





But..., he said. I think it's closer if you took other way, should I call you a taxi?





WHAT? I thought. Obviously he's not going to work, he just wanted me to leave his place no matter how. I offered him the easiest way he could take if he was going to work (Going with him in the same taxi and just drop me at the end), but he clearly wasn't going out.





Did he made up the call? It's too much effort, but now I believe it. It was just the perfect timing. And after three weeks, he just hasn't showed up. He knows he did wrong, reeaally wrong. Better for me... and for him.





According to friends, it's just the repetition of previous stories from other people. Ridiculous!





Truth saves effort, time and money! His effort, our time and my money in this case. Practice it, aussies.

Disappearance #1

I met once this young cute blond guy in a chatroom (Does it matter which one? They're all the same) and we exchanged MSN IDs. We chatted several times during one or two weeks and finally we agreed to meet one night at his place.

I arrived to his small cold studio. It was winter and it was raining. He talked on and off for an hour or so. It was Friday night, and it wasn't that late.

-Do you wanna stay tonight?
-Can I?
-Sure!
-OK

So, we went to bed...... some foreplay...... Damn, no condoms! No problems.... for him I made him enjoy (I think) while finger-fucking him. At least he looked like really enjoying it. Even during the act he wanted to see me again.... with condoms!

The next day he woke up, told me he had someting to do, I woke up, put myself together and kissed him goodbye.

Then one lame call and a couple of unanswered calls indicated he disappeared. What happened????????

Probably the same thing that happened when I met this guy for lunch in Surry Hills and gave me a ride to the place I had a meeting because I was late, but he only answered a sms after 3 weeks.

Or the same thing that happened to this other guy I had dinner with after several nights of nice long phone calls, who can't even say 'Hi' on MSN.

It would be nice to know it.


Me

Not a word more............

What's the point in disappearing after a date?

A few things you can conclude after that are:

1. You are as ugly as you dont deserve to be answered your phone calls, even your sms or emails.
2. You're too annoying!
3. You said something really, really bad.
4. You DID something really, really bad.
5. All of the above.

More surprisingly is that silence when it comes after a quiet nice date. Something had to be really bad.

And the subtle silence is not clear enough to get the answer. And you have no clue if you can improve something, not for your date (He's lost now anyway) but for yourself.

Why is it that hard to say someone you don't wanna see him anymore? Any spoken excuse is way better than that weird silence.

Guys! Learn to close circles! Don't make assumptions. Loose your uptight ass and let go simple words off your mouth like "See ya around, mate". Simple and direct.


Me

AIM

Hi


The aim of this blog is to expose the rawness in the gay community of Sydney, Australia. The facts will be exposed as objectively as I can, so you can get your own conclusions.

Sorry, I'm shocked 'coz I wasn't used to it, and I don't think it's healthy to get used to it, if you can.

So, this blog has been created purely for peace of mind. If you feel insulted, you should consider to improve your behavior. But mainly I hope this help other gay men to lower their expectations before coming to Sydney.


Me